Choose Intimacy over Image

Longing for a Soul

I’ve been single for so long that I almost forgot what it felt like to crave touch—not just the physical, but the soul-deep kind that makes your whole being exhale. I told myself I was content in this single season. I told myself I didn’t need anyone, that my independence was enough. And for a while, it truly was.

Then, out of nowhere, he appeared. Or maybe he was always there, lingering in the background, waiting for the moment when my heart was ready to see him differently.

The first and last person I think of now is him. When I’m in his arms, I melt. My mind—usually spinning a hundred miles per hour—goes still. His voice does something to me that words can’t explain, and when my phone lights up with his name, it feels like a little surge of joy running through my veins. He’s by far my favorite notification.

As a single mom, I’ve dated before. I’ve tried to open my heart and find something real, but most of the time it felt shallow, like something was missing. This feels different. This feels magical. It feels like peace. It feels like home.

Choosing Vulnerability Over Games

What’s even more surprising is the shift happening inside me. For years, fear has followed me—fear of being hurt, fear of being disappointed, fear of letting someone in too close. But with him, I feel those fears loosening. My path doesn’t feel as scary anymore. I feel braver. I feel lighter.

The truth is, dating today is exhausting and HARD.  Society has turned love into a game. Everywhere you look, there are rules, tricks, and manipulative tactics—how to make someone chase you, how to make them miss you, how to keep the upper hand. But that’s not love to me. That’s not intimacy. That is a narcissistic form of love that I am so sick of and it honestly, it makes me want to vomit.

I believe in vulnerability. I believe in telling someone what I need in a gentle way and creating a space where they feel safe to do the same. I believe in being someone’s peace, not their battlefield. And in return, I want to feel chosen, not tested.

The Power of Transparency in Building Real Connection

Transparency in communication isn’t just a nice-to-have—it’s the bedrock of trust, especially in the beginning stages of dating when everything feels fragile and new. It’s the quiet reassurance that says, “You can be yourself here. You’re safe.”

When two people show up with honesty—about their intentions, their fears, their pasts, and their hopes—it creates a space where real intimacy can begin to grow.

Everyone enters relationships carrying something: anxiety, excitement, curiosity, past trauma, and hope. These emotions don’t just disappear when love shows up—they need to be acknowledged, held, and understood. Transparency allows that to happen. It’s not about oversharing or rushing vulnerability, but about being real enough to say, “This is where I’ve been. This is what I’m learning. This is what I need.”

Texting Isn’t Enough

In today’s world, texting has become the primary mode of communication—but it’s also one of the most misunderstood. Texts lack tone, nuance, and the warmth of human presence. A simple message can be misread, misinterpreted, or even trigger someone based on their own lens of past experiences.

That’s why phone calls and in-person conversations matter so much. They allow for softness, for clarification, for connection. They allow you to hear the pauses, the laughter, and the emotion behind the words.

Sometimes, we respond quickly out of stress or fear, forgetting that the other person has no idea what’s unraveling inside us. Pausing before replying, especially when triggered—can be an act of love. It gives us time to breathe, to reflect, and to respond with intention rather than reaction. It’s a way of saying, “I care about how this lands with you.”

Communication Creates Intimacy

Communication isn’t just about exchanging information—it’s about creating understanding. It’s the bridge between two hearts. When done with care, it builds a deep-rooted foundation of intimacy, attraction, and emotional safety. It turns love into a sanctuary, not a battlefield.

Because the truth is, we’re all longing for a soul. Not just someone to text good morning, but someone who sees us, hears us, and chooses us—again and again. Transparency is how we get there. It’s how we build the kind of love that feels like home.

Love That Feels Like Home

Because intimacy isn’t about sex. Anyone can share a bed. But real intimacy is when your souls recognize each other. It’s when emotions, communication, and presence weave together into something sacred. It’s holding someone’s hand and knowing that even in silence, your hearts are speaking.

This is where my boundaries stand. I won’t lose myself to love. I won’t settle for control, manipulation, or chaos dressed up as passion. My peace is too valuable, and my self-worth is not negotiable. If love is real, it won’t deplete me—it will steady me. It will strengthen me.

I’m not looking for perfection. I don’t need a fairy tale. What I long for is a soul—a connection that is divine, authentic, and grounding. The kind of love that feels like home.

And right now… for the first time in a long time, I feel like I’ve brushed up against something worth the vulnerability and transparency.

Final Thoughts: Love Rooted in Truth

Love isn’t just about finding someone who makes your heart race, it’s about finding someone who makes your soul feel safe. Someone who listens, who shows up, who communicates with clarity and care. Someone who doesn’t just want the highlight reel but is willing to sit with you in the quiet, in the messy, in the real.

Transparency is the thread that weaves trust, and trust is the soil where love grows. When we lead with honesty, when we pause to understand, when we choose presence over performance and intimacy over image—we create something lasting. Something sacred.

So, if you’re in the early stages of love, or even deep into it, remember this: communication is not just a skill—it’s a love language. And transparency is not weakness—it’s courage. It’s the doorway to the kind of connection that doesn’t just touch your skin, but reaches your soul. When you come across a beautiful soul, choose them, again and again. Meet them where they are and learn them. Love is about learning each other and showing up with intention.

I’m still learning. I’m still growing. I’m still learning how to trust again. But for the first time in a long time, I’m not afraid of love—I’m open to it. And maybe, just maybe…….

Love & Light,

Soldier Mom